My Broken Dishwasher

If you know me, you know that I have a kitchen because it came with the house. I have always disliked the dishwasher, but it was here and I couldn't see spending money we didn't have on buying a new one. Then one day, my dishwasher broke. My first response was jubilation – I was finally getting a new dishwasher. Then dread set in -  I had to shop for a new dishwasher. Then I found the silver lining - my daughter and I could bond over doing dishes by hand. Except that didn't work out and I found myself doing the task alone. What a conundrum. It looked like I had a good dishwasher; upon closer examination you realized it was completely broken. I fiddled around a bit with it, figuring it was already broken...how much more damage could I really do? And I fixed it!

Sometimes relationships are like that dishwasher. Looking back, I see I never really liked that dishwasher; but, it worked - sort of - so I kept it. But I spent a lot of time mentally cursing that dishwasher for not being a good dishwasher...not meeting my needs. And one day I realized that dishwasher was completely broken. Should I replace the dishwasher, go without, or try to repair it? Well, replacing it wasn't an option.  This was not a relationship from which I could just walk away and begin again with someone else. The cost of that was way too high.  So I looked at the option of doing without this particular dishwasher, or any dishwasher. Maybe God would let me walk away, do without for a while and wash dishes with Him instead of this person who clearly did not want to bond over bubbles. I thought, “as long as God is washing dishes by my side, I don't need a dishwasher anyway.”  But, I found God speaking gently into my heart that the dishwasher was fixable if I would just put in a little effort. Okay, a LOT of effort.  Over the long haul. I couldn't just flip the breaker switch or replace a decorative panel and think the thing was going to work. No, this was a matter of tearing it apart and gutting the thing, cleaning out the junk, and putting it back together.

I'm still in the process of cleaning out the junk, so I don't know if we'll be able to put it back together right or not.  Relationships are so easily clogged up, even repulsive at times - sin is nasty!  But once you begin to clear away the mess, you just keep clearing and trust that He who began that good work WILL be faithful to complete it. (Philippians 1:6). God quickened me to faith, and with it love and obedience. And He will continue to work in me until I am perfected in Christ. He will not abandon me or leave me unfinished. I needed that eternal perspective to cope with my temporal trouble. I was so focused on what the dishwasher wasn't doing for me that I never saw what I wasn't doing for the dishwasher. A little TLC goes a long way. 

I haven't seen results in my relationship yet, but I have seen results in me. I know that God is not calling me to fix that person, only to pray and to do my part to encourage. Inasmuch as it is up to me, I choose to live at peace with this person. (Romans 12:18) It is not a hindrance to my peace when that person chooses war. It saddens me and breaks my heart a little, but I am not responsible for the actions of another...only for my own heart attitude and how I behave as a result. I must choose to do the work because I love God and want to obey Him, not because I expect to see change in the other person. I must love God, and then love my neighbor...showing the same concern for that person which I have for myself (Romans 13, Galatians 5). 

I may or may not be able to fix this relationship, but I've decided it's worth trying.