Life on the Edge?

As a mom, I’ve always been told that it is my job to set boundaries and enforce them. I’ve been told that the greatest need my children have is for me to create boundaries for them, and then stand guard over that line. I’ve been told my children will thrive if I am firm about the border. I’ve been told that boundaries are healthy.

But here’s the thing about boundaries: they’re on the periphery, on the verge of disaster. They form the dividing line between two regions – acceptable and unacceptable, safe and dangerous, profitable and bankrupt. Is that where I want my children? Is that where I want to be?

When we travel to see family, there is stretch of road through the mountains. I assure you that the view is magnificent, but you better believe I am driving as close to the center line as I can without crossing it and getting hit head-on. Why? Because that is as far away from the sheer drop on the other side of the guardrail as I can get. I feel safer on the mountain than on the edge.

So it is with the spiritual life. I have spent a lot of years trying to find the boundaries. Can I do this? Is it okay to do that? What will happen when I try this? I have looked at scriptures like 1 Corinthians 6:10 and 1 Corinthians 10:23 and thought, “yes, all things are permissible for me.” They may not be edifying or profitable, but as long as they don’t master me, they are permissible and lawful. There is freedom in Christ, right?

Then I think about 1 Corinthians 8:9, the directive not to abuse my liberty and put a stumbling block in front of the weak. Will pushing this boundary cause someone else to fall off the cliff? Worse yet, what if the “weak” here is me? What if I’m the one going over the edge?

You see where I’m going with this, right? If I spend all my time setting boundaries, I am spending all my time living on the brink of disaster. I am in danger; those around me are in danger.

What if, instead of looking at the outer boundary line, I was focused on the center line? What if I had my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith? (Hebrews 12:2) What if I thought about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy? (Philippians 4:8) What if I set apart Christ as Lord in my heart, and I was always ready to give an answer to those who ask about the hope that lies within me, doing so with gentleness and respect? (1 Peter 3:15) What if I kept the main thing (being a disciple and making disciples) the main thing?

Would I be worried about boundaries??

I’m sure you’ve heard the example of the bank tellers and the counterfeit bills – you don’t train them to spot counterfeits, but you train them by letting them handle the real thing. They become so familiar with the real thing that the counterfeit is easy to see. Are we so familiar with the real thing (Jesus) that the counterfeit (man-made boundaries) is easy to see?

Now lest you think I am suggesting we abandon all boundaries, I am not. There is a good purpose for them, especially the ones God has set. They should not be ignored or crossed. But I am also suggesting that if you are seeking to live as one abiding in Christ and with Christ abiding in you, crossing those boundaries is less of a temptation and poses less threat. It doesn’t alleviate the wandering eyes and heart completely, but it does change the response to the temptation.

So in my own life, and in the lives of my children, I have started to shift my focus away from all the “don’t” sentences. I have stopped walking cautiously along the edge, and moved more toward the Savior. As we each begin to fix our eyes on Jesus, He transforms even our very desires from the inside out. We no longer want to walk as close to the guardrail as possible; we want to be in the center of His will. We don’t want to stand on the very precipice and look down, trying to keep our footing on a slippery slope. And when we do find ourselves on that ledge, we trust Jesus to pull us back to safety and set us back on the right path. From the safety of the center, we can fully enjoy the magnificent view!