Life on the Edge?

As a mom, I’ve always been told that it is my job to set boundaries and enforce them. I’ve been told that the greatest need my children have is for me to create boundaries for them, and then stand guard over that line. I’ve been told my children will thrive if I am firm about the border. I’ve been told that boundaries are healthy.

But here’s the thing about boundaries: they’re on the periphery, on the verge of disaster. They form the dividing line between two regions – acceptable and unacceptable, safe and dangerous, profitable and bankrupt. Is that where I want my children? Is that where I want to be?

When we travel to see family, there is stretch of road through the mountains. I assure you that the view is magnificent, but you better believe I am driving as close to the center line as I can without crossing it and getting hit head-on. Why? Because that is as far away from the sheer drop on the other side of the guardrail as I can get. I feel safer on the mountain than on the edge.

So it is with the spiritual life. I have spent a lot of years trying to find the boundaries. Can I do this? Is it okay to do that? What will happen when I try this? I have looked at scriptures like 1 Corinthians 6:10 and 1 Corinthians 10:23 and thought, “yes, all things are permissible for me.” They may not be edifying or profitable, but as long as they don’t master me, they are permissible and lawful. There is freedom in Christ, right?

Then I think about 1 Corinthians 8:9, the directive not to abuse my liberty and put a stumbling block in front of the weak. Will pushing this boundary cause someone else to fall off the cliff? Worse yet, what if the “weak” here is me? What if I’m the one going over the edge?

You see where I’m going with this, right? If I spend all my time setting boundaries, I am spending all my time living on the brink of disaster. I am in danger; those around me are in danger.

What if, instead of looking at the outer boundary line, I was focused on the center line? What if I had my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith? (Hebrews 12:2) What if I thought about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy? (Philippians 4:8) What if I set apart Christ as Lord in my heart, and I was always ready to give an answer to those who ask about the hope that lies within me, doing so with gentleness and respect? (1 Peter 3:15) What if I kept the main thing (being a disciple and making disciples) the main thing?

Would I be worried about boundaries??

I’m sure you’ve heard the example of the bank tellers and the counterfeit bills – you don’t train them to spot counterfeits, but you train them by letting them handle the real thing. They become so familiar with the real thing that the counterfeit is easy to see. Are we so familiar with the real thing (Jesus) that the counterfeit (man-made boundaries) is easy to see?

Now lest you think I am suggesting we abandon all boundaries, I am not. There is a good purpose for them, especially the ones God has set. They should not be ignored or crossed. But I am also suggesting that if you are seeking to live as one abiding in Christ and with Christ abiding in you, crossing those boundaries is less of a temptation and poses less threat. It doesn’t alleviate the wandering eyes and heart completely, but it does change the response to the temptation.

So in my own life, and in the lives of my children, I have started to shift my focus away from all the “don’t” sentences. I have stopped walking cautiously along the edge, and moved more toward the Savior. As we each begin to fix our eyes on Jesus, He transforms even our very desires from the inside out. We no longer want to walk as close to the guardrail as possible; we want to be in the center of His will. We don’t want to stand on the very precipice and look down, trying to keep our footing on a slippery slope. And when we do find ourselves on that ledge, we trust Jesus to pull us back to safety and set us back on the right path. From the safety of the center, we can fully enjoy the magnificent view!

Student, Teacher?

Do you realize that the teacher is also the student?

Quite some time ago, God gave me the privilege of and responsibility to teach. I took it on with some trepidation, knowing that those who teach are held to a higher accountability (James 3:1). I have taught children, teens and women. Each comes with a unique set of challenges, but all come with one common thread: God uses the experience to teach the teacher.

Sometimes the learning comes through my preparation. As I study to teach others, I find new pieces of information, see scripture in a new light or realize that application is necessary in my own life in that area. Other times the learning comes through a question asked in class that propels me toward digging deeper or causes me to break something down to a simpler level of understanding. Then, there are the times when I don’t even realize I’m teaching myself.

Just last week, as I was teaching my ladies’ Sunday school class, I said something that was not in my notes. I looked around the room and realized the statement didn't really apply to many of the women in there, and wondered briefly why God would have opened my mouth to speak that particular example. I finished teaching the class, and moved on through my week. A couple of days later I knew exactly why God opened my mouth to speak that example… because it was for me! I faced exactly the example I had used in class. Because I had spoken it in front of everyone, I had a layer of accountability built right into my tough situation. God knew, even if I did not, that I needed that point driven in deep so that it could resurface at just the right time. He knew I needed His word hidden in my heart that I might not sin against Him. Even as He has, on other occasions, opened the ears of my students, on that morning He opened my ears. He drew my heart to Himself, and eventually gave me courage to trust Him and to follow Him in love and obedience (just as I encourage my students to do).

I often say that I will prepare and teach whether one woman shows up or 20, and now you know why: even if the teacher is the only one in the room, there is a student present who needs to hear the Word and be transformed.

Sick of Women's Conferences?

I read an article today by Erin Davis that I thought (last paragraph notwithstanding) was worth sharing: Why I'm Sick of Women's Conferences



How often, in our true desire to help and be helped, do we distort or dilute the gospel?



Let this stand as a challenge to me as a woman, as a mother and as a women's leader.
Let this stand as a challenge to you as well.

I hope you feel better soon...

Why do we short-circuit conviction in others?
Is immediate relief and feeling good about ourselves really better than walking through suffering?

When someone is feeling bad about themselves, why are we so quick to bolster them?
When someone is beginning to recognize sin, why do we brush it off or try to make them feel better?
When someone realizes that God is longsuffering, why do quickly compliment them on other areas and tell them they’re good?

I believe we are trying to be good friends.
I believe we are trying to reassure.
I believe we are trying to shorten or lessen their suffering.

But are we hurting them more than we’re helping them?

Maybe they feel bad about themselves because they are idolizing the praise of man. When we come in quickly and bolster them and tell them nice things, we are really feeding their idol worship.

Galatians 1:10… For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ. (HCSB)

Maybe as someone is coming to see their sin, they try to confess it. But we don’t want them to feel bad about their sin (or don’t even want to acknowledge it at all – we don’t want to call sin “sin”), so we change the subject or downplay the seriousness of sin.

2Corinthians 7:10… Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (NIV)

1 John 1:9… If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

Luke5:32… I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Maybe they are starting to see how often they sin, rebel, reject God. But they’re also starting to understand the magnitude of His grace. But instead of acknowledging their sin and praising God for their repentance and His grace and mercy, we offer words of assurance that the sinner is really a good person.

Isaiah 5:20… Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.

Mark 10:18… “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.

Romans 1:25… They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

We think we are helping. We have good intentions.
Maybe we really don’t know what to say.
Maybe we really don’t know what God says.

But please, Christian –

Speak the truth, in love.

Don’t short-circuit the work God is doing in a heart and mind just because it’s uncomfortable and you want them to feel better right away. Our anguish, our despair, our lamentation has a higher purpose!

Lamentations 3
55 I called on your name, Lord,from the depths of the pit.

56 You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.”

57 You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.”

58 You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life

When someone is calling out to God form the depths of the pit, trust that He will hear their plea. Trust that He will come near, take up their case, and redeem their life. In your words to this pit-dweller, don't deny, cut short or circumvent the work God is doing in their mind and heart to draw them close to Him and fill them with praise.

Psalm 103

1 Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—

3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6 The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:

8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

15 The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field;

16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

17 But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children—

18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all

From everlasting to everlasting, the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, keep his covenant, remember to obey his precepts. That bad feeling, that recognition of sin, that acknowledgement of longsuffering – those are all signs of God’s grace! Rather than trying to make them feel better with human comfort, let me point them to the grace of God in the person of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. Praise the Lord, my soul – praise His holy name.

Scripture quotations marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

What Disney Princess Are You?

When I say the word princess, what comes to mind?

Was it a Disney film you love? Was it a Disney film you hate?
Was it a damsel in distress? Was it a strong female? Was it a spoiled, pampered, self-centered girl? Was it a classy, elegant, graceful young woman?

Can we all agree that princesses, at least of the fairytale Disney variety, have dramatically changed over the years?

The “classics” are Snow White, Cinderella and Aurora (Sleeping Beauty). I grew up with Ariel, Belle and Jasmine. My daughters watched Pocahontas, Mulan and Tiana. Now girls want to be like Rapunzel, Merida, Elsa & Anna.

And of course there is tiny little Sofia the First on Disney Junior.

Somehow Tiger Lily (Peter Pan), Giselle (Enchanted), Meg (Hercules) and Esmeralda (Hunchback of Notre Dame) were forgotten. How many countless Disney princesses were dissed, lying on the cutting room floor of our memories?

We are obsessed with princesses. I found no less than a dozen quizzes designed to show me which Disney princess I am. So I thought about the basic story...

Through no fault of her own, a girl is in trouble. The handsome and strong prince comes to her rescue and they live happily ever after. That's the fairytale, right? Not anymore!

Now we have emasculated princes who are rescued by strong princesses. We have princesses who neither need nor desire a prince of any sort. They are independent and resourceful - they can find their "happily ever after" all by themselves! Parents everywhere encourage their daughters to follow this lead. Be strong. Be independent. Don't sit around waiting for a man to ride in on a white horse and rescue you or to make you happy. We tell our girls that they are strong and capable on their own. They are smarter and faster than any man. 

They are wittier, and prettier.

And the gospel is suffering!

Yes, you read that right. Our infatuation with and immersion in the world of Disney is distorting and diluting the gospel of Jesus Christ. Now before you bail on me and denounce me as a heretic... I love Disney princesses. I have my favorites, I watch the movies, I daydream. But - I don't base my perception of princes and princesses on what I see on the screen. I use them as teaching moments, but I'm teaching a far different message than most of the modern moms I know.

Consider Paul's letter to the believers in Galatia:

Galatians 4:1-7(NKJV)

Now I say that the heir, as long as he is a child, does not differ at all from a slave, though he is master of all,² but is under guardians and stewards until the time appointed by the father. ³ Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world. ⁴ But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, ⁵ to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. ⁶ And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!”⁷ Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

The scene opens on a young girl, bound by some evil force in the world. Perhaps she is an orphan, or has evil parents. Perhaps she is cursed, dreaming of a different world, deceived by looks, stubborn, misunderstood, looked down on and discounted, poor, trapped, underestimated. Maybe she's still young, or completely forgotten. (vs. 1-3)

But then, at the right time, the prince comes! He comes as a man to rescue and redeem her, to release her from her bondage and take her home to the castle of the kingdom. (vs. 4-5)

The God of our fathers raised up Jesus whom you murdered by hanging on a tree. Him God has exalted to His right hand to be Prince and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins. (Acts 5:30-31)

Yes, he comes ride a white horse, the crowned prince. Yes, he battles his way to her, fighting and conquering the enemy to reach and rescue the girl.

Now I saw  when the Lamb opened one of the seals; and I heard one of the four living creatures saying with a voice like thunder, "Come and see." And I looked, and behold a white horse. He who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer. (Revelation 6:1-2)

Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called the Word of God. And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

How does the girl respond? She is grateful to be rescued! She recognizes her state of bondage, and appreciates his bravery and efforts to save her. She respects his nobility. She falls in love with him, and is humbled by his love for her. She recognizes that he chose her and fought for her, and he intended to provide for her. She adores, even worships, him. She goes gladly with him.

Exodus 15:11  “Who is like You, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like You, glorious in holiness, Fearful in praises, doing wonders? ¹² You stretched out Your right hand; The earth swallowed them. ¹³ You in Your mercy have led forth the people whom You have redeemed; You have guided them in Your strength to Your holy habitation.

1 Samuel 2... “My heart rejoices in the Lord; My horn is exalted in the Lord. I smile at my enemies, because I rejoice in Your salvation. ² “No one is holy like the Lord, For there is none besides You, Nor is there any rock like our God. ⁴ “The bows of the mighty men are broken, And those who stumbled are girded with strength. ⁷ The Lord makes poor and makes rich; He brings low and lifts up. ⁸ He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the beggar from the ash heap, To set them among princes and make them inherit the throne of glory.

The girl is sealed with a promise - she becomes his bride, his princess. She is no longer a slave, but a daughter of the King and heir to the kingdom (vs. 6-7). She believes he is the prince, and she loves him. So the King loves her on his behalf, and treats her as family. 

In that day you will ask in My name, and I do not say to you that I shall pray the Father for you; for the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me, and have believed that I came forth from God. (John 16:26-27)

Have you ever considered the transition she must have faced? 

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Together with the prince, she overcomes every obstacle and lives happily ever after.

If happily ever after is what you’re after, the plot is not in a new Disney film.

If someone to emulate is what you’re after, the character is not a new Disney princess.

I WANT my girls to realize that their stubborn independence keeps them from being the princesses God created them to be. It is only when they recognize their own bondage to sin and receive the gift of salvation from the Prince that they can live happily ever after.

Romans 5:6… For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹ Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. ¹⁰ For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. ¹¹ And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.