Breaking the Silence

Yes, it's been a while. Funny how life has a way of distracting...

However, an even funnier thing happens when you can’t talk. The world sounds different. Your energy is poured into different areas. You realize how much you talk.

Now I’ve always known that I talk a lot. Sometimes I even have a lot to say! But I never realize just how much until I can’t speak. This laryngitis happens once or twice a year.  It’s usually only a day or so, but it’s aggravating. It slows me down. This time it’s even painful – painful enough I went to the doctor. But here’s the catch: my regular doc is out of town so I’m seeing someone else in his office for the very first time. How do you communicate with someone who has never even met you?

I am thankful for technology, and for whispers. I typed all my symptoms on my laptop and showed it to him. I answered his questions with nods of the head and fingers held up. I whispered when I had to. And we communicated. It wasn’t usual and it wasn’t easy, but it worked. He has the info he needs to make a diagnosis and tell me what to do next. (Which, by the way, is… stop talking – and whispering – for at least the next three days in order to rest my vocal cords and allow them to heal.)

My communication with God isn’t always pretty either. I must confess that I am often guilty of going on and on like a heathen in vain repetition, using many empty words. (Matthew 6:7). Listen, I can pray for a long time without really saying anything valuable! I also must confess that too often I take for granted the access I have to the Father through the Son. I forget what it took for Jesus to be my high priest, making intercession for me. He was tempted at all points, but without sin. (Hebrews 4:15) He is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and has become higher than the heavens. He does not need daily to offer up sacrifices for his own sins (because He has non) or for mine, for this He did once for all when He offered up Himself. (Hebrews 7:26-27) Instead, he sits at the right hand of the Father, waiting for his enemies to be made His footstool. (Hebrews 10:11-13) I forget that because of high priest Jesus, I come boldly to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16) I forget that when He went back to heaven, He sent the Holy Spirit not only as a deposit, but as an intercessor (Romans 8:26-27).

When is the last time I was truly still before God? The last time I was quiet?
As a woman prone to anticipating what someone will say and forming my answer before they even finish, I tend to interrupt. I tend to say more than I should. I tend to distract, and to get distracted. But in my silence, I have listened more. I have heard what people say. I have thought about the most concise response (because let’s face it, who wants to write ten words when you can write two)? I have been more aware of all the “empty sounds” around me. I see how busy my life is, and hear how loud my brain hums. Today is perhaps the hardest, because my voice has returned but I am still not allowed to use it.

God, in my silence help me to hear YOU.
God, in my silence, help me to communicate YOU, even if it is through my writing tablet or whiteboard.

Zacharias heard you. After months of silence, Elizabeth gave birth to a miracle from you. Zacharias asked for a writing table and wrote, “His name is John.” Everyone around him marveled, and Zacharias’ tongue was loosed and he praised God! (Luke 1:63-64)

Matthew West emerged from his season of silence with ‘Something to Say’. He was unable to speak for two months, but You used the time to refocus his priorities and renew his purpose. (Read the full article here.)

Sometimes you’re given the message before you know what it means. Then the test comes and you can see how God intended everything to be. 

I’m not always sure what you have for me to say, or where you would have me say it. But as I wait in silence and listen for Your voice, I know that you are giving me the message. I know that the testing is coming. When my voice is once more restored, may Your praise be found on my lips!